Happy St. Patrick's Day

I read my friend Angi's blog and feel bad that I am not so creative. But, I am Irish. My child did wear green today to the baby-sitter's house. But there was no green breakfast and due to the small size of our family these days, no corned beef and cabbage. I wish I lived closer to the beach to go to the Irish Pub. I am not a big drinker, but I do love a good Irish Pub.

I feel like I am not so good at Holidays this year. Probably b/c to me Holidays are all about family, and while my daughter is the best thing to ever happen to me, two people just doesn't feel like a family. The holidays, no matter how small, seem to magnify the fact that I am "single" these days. Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a pity party.

I will leave you with a few Irish Blessings:

(1)
May you have warm words on a cold evening,
A full moon on a dark night,
And the road downhill all the way to your door.

(2)
As he brought new faith to Ireland so may he bring to you, a touch of Irish happiness in everything you do - and like the good Saint Patrick may your home and life be blessed with all God's special favors that make you happiest.

Good night and God Bless!

Happy St. Patrick

Taxes = A Good Thing For Once

Yes, I did my taxes and I am getting a very nice refund. Too bad it will all go to pay off one of my credit cards, but every bit helps.

We have been busy working (not fun) and playing (way fun!!) Katelyn loves playing at the playground. It is just about her favorite thing. She especially loves to go to the park with her cousins in Orlando. We went to visit her Titi(s) and Cousins a few weekends ago. We were sorry that we couldn't see all of them -- her Titi Edmali had to work at Disney, so she didn't get to see her or her family. She did get to play a ton with her cousins Paola and Dylan and she had a blast. It is so funny to see a just barely 2 year old try to keep up with a 5 and 7 year old. This is a cute pic from that day. The cousins were playing tag, so Katelyn decided to just climb. Funny thing was, they were using her as base :)

And another one. I love the pigtails. I wish that I had figured out how to put these pics up so that you can click on them to enlarge them. Someone will have to fill me in sometime.

I have been on call every other weekend, and with flu season it seems every time we leave the house, my pager goes off. Oh well. This past weekend we went out and bought a trailer so that she can come with me on bike rides. We didn't get a chance to try it out because it was SOOOOO WINDY (Like Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day).

Today we went for a long walk and then played at the "ducky playground" in our neighborhood. We ran into one my friends and her son (Katelyn's friend Luca). Then Katelyn decided that it would be fun to move dirt from one area to another and then she attempted to taste said dirt. So, we decided it was time to go. We ate dinner and took a bubble bath in "mommy's big tub." We ended the night with a snuggle and now she is in dreamland.

Hope your evening was as fun as ours.

A little down

I have not been as good at posting as I would like to be. I have been super busy trying to balance work and single motherhood. I never thought I would be in this position. I wanted to get married, have babies, work part time. I realize that there were multiple issues with my marriage. Some mine, some his. I thought we would work it out. But he quit. And when someone tells me they quit, I know in my heart I will never trust them again. And since that time I have forgiven him. I have continued to say only positive things about him to our daughter. But he often disappoints me. He doesn't visit her as often as he should. When he does visit, he often goes out with his friends too (and gets drunk), which makes me crazy when I am paying for half of his ticket to visit. And it is not that I didn't want him to move on and be happy. But I am really concerned that in finding someone who is YOUNG and still doing the wild nights of partying, he will never grow up and be the father that I hoped he would be. At least not for Katelyn. It makes me sad. I want to believe that if I move back to Cincinnati so that she can see him more regularly, he will be responsible. But I am scared to death of what could happen if he doesn't. And I don't want him to disappoint her. That would break my heart. I want whomever becomes her step-mother to care about her, but not try to be her mother. I want to find someone to be my life-long partner, someone who will be another father figure, but not someone to be her father. I am surprised (and a little embarrassed) that I am so affected by his having a girlfriend. I guess in part it is how I found out. And when he does things like give Katelyn a birthday present from his GF and not tell her (or me) who it is from, and take a picture by the Christmas tree of the three of them like they are a family. I feel guilty, b/c I know so many others have a much bigger reason to be sad. I suppose you could even say I did this to myself, b/c I had my doubts from the beginning (there were signs). And for the first year I was doing fine. Why a year later is it really hitting me?

Sorry for the negative post. Guess that is why I haven't posted some days. I will try to be more uplifting in the future and to update more frequently.

Happy Valentine's Day

Katelyn and I have been busy this month with her 2nd birthday (on 2/2), Nana's Birthday (2/11)and now St. Valentine's Day.

First, for her birthday we had a party at the "Hands on Children's Museum." We invited two of her little friends, Luca and Raegan (and their parents), as well as her Titi Lee, Titi Edmali, Titi Iby, Tio Picu, (Tio Bill had to work), her cousins, Paola, Stephanie, Michael, Alex and Dylan, Nana and her "uncle" Juan. She had so much fun playing and eating pizza and cupcakes. Cupcakes were the theme. She loved her gift from mommy and daddy (a brand new PB kitchen set. She is so happy cooking up a storm. I can't believe that my baby is two years old.

We celebrated Nana's birthday last weekend by going out to dinner at Dave and Busters on Saturday night. Then we went to Dr. O'Reilly's (our good friend and Katelyn's pediatrician) on Sunday night to have dinner and cake. Katelyn was a little upset at first because it was not her birthday, but she was better when she realized that it didn't matter, she still got to eat the cake. Silly bug. Then, on her really birthday, Katelyn and Nana had pancakes and then we let nana have the day off (Katelyn went to the babysitter's house).

Today, I had to go to work. It is kind of a bah-humbug kind of day. I can't help it. I don't want to be with someone for the wrong reasons for sure, but I am tired of being alone on every holiday that passes. My only great valentine's day was my first one as a mother. Katelyn was 12 days old and I was already head over heels in love with her. I still am, and she is the love of my life, but I know it isn't healthy for her to be my one and only. And I have needs, too. I did have fun with Katelyn. We played and then took a bubble bath, then snuggled in bed reading "Pooh" and "Elmo" books. Now it is time for me to go to sleep... my pillows are calling.

Busy Getting Better

Since my last post we have gone through another sinus infection, a stomach virus and surgery. Katelyn got her myringotomy tubes and her adenoids out last week on Wednesday (Jan 16) and she is finally back to her old sweet self. She is loving having her Nana back with us (for 2 whole months, yay!!) and playing with all of her new toys. Her big birthday present arrived last week and she asks regularly to "opey it." She is going to LOVE it (a play kitchen).

I can't believe that in just over a week my baby will be two years old. I never really understood when people told me to enjoy every minute b/c time flies. Now I understand completely. And I must say that I often choose spending time with my daughter over other things. I don't clean as much as I probably should. But when the time comes to look back on my life I know that I would never say, " I wish I had cleaned more."

Just look at that sweet face in her Minnie Mouse nightgown. My mom got it for her, and she got one for me and one for herself as well. I wish we had gotten a picture, but Katelyn was in no mood to cooperate earlier. Maybe another day.

Well, I had better get going to bed. TGIF tomorrow... just wish I wasn't on call ... AGAIN. Remind me not to take a job in the future where I am on call every other week. What was I thinking?

Happy Holidays and a Healthy New Year

I have been terrible at keeping up my blog. My readers (okay, one reader besides family) probably thought I fell off the ends of the earth. So, I am writing to assure you that I am alive. I have my baby girl back home sleeping next to me in my BRAND NEW BED!!! I was tired of sleeping in a twin bed and so I finally had Rooms-to-Go deliver the bedroom set I ordered 3 months ago. Who knows, maybe it will help sell the house. It is gorgeous... will be even more gorgeous when they deliver the fourth post that they forgot so that I can put up the canopy.

The week before Christmas was hectic as Katelyn AGAIN spiked a fever despite antibiotics and was cranky and her ears looked horrible, so despite a grand total of 23 days of oral antibiotics she ended up with 3 days of Rocephin shots (a strong antibiotic) and a procedure in the ENT's office where he put her in a papoose, popped holes in her ear drums and sucked out the yucky stuff to send for culture. Unfortunately we were flying to Nana's house the next day, so she had to have antibiotic injections 2 out of the 3 days were were there and the last day we flew back. It was too short of a trip. And I am super homesick, despite hating the cold.

Christmas was nice. I opened a few gifts with Katelyn at home on Christmas Eve before heading over to Dr. O's house for dinner. Christmas Day we opened more presents, packed up and headed to Orlando to see daddy, Abuelita, Abuelito, and all the Titi's, Tio's and Primos. Unfortunately we ended up with very few pictures. I forgot mine at Dr. O's so only had a few pics I took on Christmas Eve, then we took a ton in Orlando but when Edmond put the disk in the computer to burn a CD, the computer formatted the disk, thus erasing everything. But we do have the memories. Katelyn learned how to open the presents all by herself and once she could see the gift she would say, "Opey it, pease!" This was followed by, "nother one?" And so it went... the funniest moment was when she opened up the gift her Titi Lee got her, which was the giant Minnie Mouse she had fallen in love with at Disney, and she said, "Minnie Mouse!!! Where'd Mickey go?" I also found it funny that she tossed aside any and all boxes that could contain clothes w/o even opening the lid or looking in the bag. Her favorites were the baby doll cradle from Mommy, the baby doctor table and kit from daddy, Minnie Mouse and baby Emma from Santa that goes pee pee on the potty.

New Years was fun. I spent it in Orlando with Katelyn, her daddy and his family. Okay, so it may seem weird, but we get along fine, so why not. I spent the night there and drove back today.

As for Katelyn, her ears may finally be healed -- Praise God. The culture ended up growing Strep Pneumo (which is a bacteria she was immunized against with the Prevnar vaccine) and it was resistant to every oral antibiotic approved for children. Only Vancomycin (one of the strongest IV antibiotics available) and Levaquin (fluoroquinalones... a family of antibiotics which orally are really only approved for teens and adults). Ciprodex, an antibiotic ear drop, was the only thing that killed the bug that she was prescribed. Not only does that scare the living crap out of me, but pisses me off a little. My child never had a single antibiotic until she was almost 20 months old when she had her first ear infection and this was her second infection and already she was resistant to everything. Makes me want to smack upside the head all the patients I have seen who want an antibiotic for their child's cold -- A COLD IS A VIRUS and ANTIBIOTICS WON'T HELP because they kill BACTERIA; and a VIRUS is NOT a BACTERIA!!!!!!! Sorry, but it gets really frustrating, particularly since I know some other idiot doctors just prescribe the antibiotic despite the fact that it will not help and may actually hurt the patient or someone who comes in contact with them and their resistant bacteria. Sorry for that rant, but I am more of a naturalist and believe that medications have their place, but you must let your body do some of the work and there are no quick fixes. Thankfully, the ENT is going to be able to put tubes in Katelyn's ears and take out her adenoids later this month in hopes that she will actually be able to breath out of her nose well for the first time in forever (she has been a mouth breather since shortly after birth due to what we now know to be large adenoids and snores and is always stuffy).

As for me, I am hoping for a better year -- it won't take much given my last year. And I could use all the prayers available to get through until my contract is up b/c I HATE my new job. There are multiple reasons for this, but I am miserable. I love what I do, but I am not doing the job I was "sold" before signing a contract. And it may get worse before it gets better. I am just not sure how much more I can take before completely losing my cool. All the friends I have spoken to about my situation have been shocked that I have not totally lost it on my boss. And if it weren't for having to pay $10,000 if I break my contract I would be so out of there unless some major changes are made. Sorry, another rant. I am trying to get it all out now so that the rest of the year I can focus on the positive. Some MAJOR changes are gonna be a coming my way and hopefully things will all fall into place.

HAPPY NEW YEAR and GOD BLESS!!!