I swear I will try to do better

I have been a horrible blogger! I read many... I just can't seem to keep up with my own. I am going to try to better once we get settled into our new home (and I take the boards). I would like to be able to keep the family up with the happenings of our life... and I plan on there being way more happenings in Columbus:)

I am moving to Ohio in less than two weeks. I am totally stressed! I have been packing and tonight my back hurts. I should go to bed soon b/c I have to go to the "Hopsital" tomorrow morning to see a new baby (by 9 so I am there within 24h of birth). So, I will be up early.

Please forgive me... I will be away for a month or two... but I promise that starting in November, I will be much less stressed and have more free time to write.

PROCRASTINATION

I had a very productive weekend - I studied, packed a few boxes AND I even finished weeding the majority of the front flower beds, planted a few flowers and spread 13 bags of mulch. Today I am feeling it -- big time. I feel like a little old lady.

Tonight, I am tired. I should be studying, but instead I am surfing the Internet, writing emails and now writing a blog entry. I really have to study. I am super nervous about the boards.

I miss Katelyn, too. I miss her like crazy! It is so weird to be in this giant house all by myself. I only pray that it sells (OK, I have said that for almost 2 years, but I really hope that it sells this month).

Studying is really for the young

OK, I realize that I am still "young" in comparison. But, I am certainly not as young as I once was. I used to be able to study until 2 or 3 am and still get up for an 8 am class. Now the thought of staying up until 2am makes me yawn. I did fairly well tonight. I read through 30+ pages of material and committed it to memory (or made an attempt to do so).

I have to take advantage of the time Katelyn is with her dad. When she gets back I will be back to trying to squeeze in cleaning, studying, showering and doing laundry all between the hours of 9pm and 11. Ugh!

On a fun note, Katelyn's daddy finally got a taste of what I have gone through for the past few months -- bonifide all out temper tantrums. I don't mean the little fits where one just throws oneself on the floor to scream or stomps around. I mean screaming at full decibels for an hour or more. Yes, my little Irish Puerto-Rican is stubborn (go figure... I don't know where she could possibly have gotten it from). The most recent wrong that was committed against her - not giving her the binky! Funny thing is, I don't really think it is a big deal. Just give her the stinking binky. She is staying at a house where she does not usually live and yes she is with her daddy (whom she sees every other month) and her Abuelita (who she last saw at Christmas time)... stressed out, anyone? At least now he will believe me... I say she is the little girl with a curl right in the middle of her forehead, and when she is good, she is very good, but when she is bad... she is horrid!

Case in point: Yes, she is rocking out on Tio Juan's Guitar Hero guitar!

She is the cutest, though, if I do say so myself :) Even if she is stubborn like her daddy... OK, maybe her mama, too.

Things are looking up

I am so much better at reading other people's blogs than writing my own. A clever excuse would be "I have been too busy living my life to write about it." It would be partially true. But, mostly I have been lazy and so super busy working -- not really living so much as I would like.

So much has happened since my last post, I am not sure where to begin. I went back home to Ohio for a vacation and to do some interviewing. And, as a result, I was given multiple job offers. I weighed all the options and chose one. I am very happy with my decision and I just know that I have made the right choice. I will be moving back to Ohio in November. I will be about half way between my mom and Katelyn's dad.

My call schedule will be much better - only one day in four and one weekend per month. AND, once they hire another partner (which should be around the time I start), I will have one day off per week. One day to spend with my daughter doing fun "stay at home mom" type activities-- minus the cleaning. It will be the one day I skip the housework and other minutia if possible and try to just live. In addition, I will get a raise, which definitely does not hurt given the fact that over the past few years I have gotten into a small hole. Particularly since I was out of work for two weeks last fall.

I was approved to sit for the boards and coincidentally was approved to take them in the same city where I will be living. And today I got the best news yet - I got my Ohio license!!! I didn't have to jump through fifty hoops like I did last time, which is spectacular. Praise God!

We dropped the price of our house for the millionth time and over the past few weeks we have shown the house over 10 times. I am praying for an offer in the next month. I have faith that it will sell in August.

On a slightly different note, Katelyn and I have been eating at Panda Express once a week (Chinese) and twice now in the past three weeks I have gotten fortunes in my cookie implying that I will be coming into a fortune (one actually said so, the other that a "windfall" would be coming my way). Maybe I should buy a lotto ticket:)

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Katelyn is currently with her daddy and Abuelita. I should be studying, so I am off. But I will leave a cute pic of Katelyn playing dress up... I love being the mommy of a sweet little princess!

Two more days

I am going to see my baby again in two more days!!! I miss her so much. I can't wait until my vacation week -- I have worked constantly since October with a max of three days off in a row (and that was only once in December). We are going back to Ohio... I have two days of interviews (kinda sounds like work, right?), but I have three days off before and four days after to relax and spend time with my family. I hope the weather cooperates so we can do some fun things.

Today was a crazy day at work. I had all kinds of challenging patients today. And I feel like I am always running behind. It is sad b/c I don't want to run late, but I never want a patient to leave feeling like their concerns were not addressed. I am going to have to learn to do both (be faster AND still address concerns). I am working on it.

I know that Katelyn is having a great time with her daddy. She has been to the zoo, where she apparently fell in love with the rhino, gone swimming a lot, had a picnic at the park (her favorite) and tomorrow is going to see the fish at the aquarium. I wish that I was there experiencing those things with her. It is difficult not being a family of three. It isn't that I want to be with her father (Lord knows that would not be a good idea), but it is sad to see all of the other families together and having to split time with Katelyn. I did not have a baby expecting to have to be away from her for a single day... at least not because I have to be. I am really tired of being alone. I don't want to be with just anyone, but I want to really get out and date. And hopefully find my match. And be a family. I really hope to have more babies. Someday. But for now, I am learning to just be happy with my little girl. Two more days and we will be together again.

Time for a change

I have been majorly MIA when it comes to my poor blog. There is no good reason other than I have been busy... trying to live in the moment, but failing miserably. I have made a few major decisions, however. Katelyn and I are going to make a big move. For me, it is moving back home, for Katelyn it will be moving closer to daddy - to Ohio. It has been so difficult to be so far away from family and to not have very many close friends. My friends here for the most part are happily married and have children and I work so much that it is difficult to find time to hang out.

I have sent in my application for an Ohio license and am waiting to hear more. I am praying that it is not as challenging as getting my Florida license, which was so stressful. I have been on one interview for a great job, just not the best job for me. I have three more interviews set for the first week in July and am hoping that one of them is a good fit. And then I will have to find a place to live. I continue to pray that this house will sell. I am trying to keep faith. I don't want to think about what my life will be like financially if it does not sell. At $96/ sq ft you would think someone would buy it.

Currently I am missing my baby girl. She has been gone for nearly two weeks - last week she was with my mom and this week she is with her daddy. I miss her like crazy, but I know it is good for both of us. I just wish I had more quality time to spend with her. I am hoping that the job I take will allow me much more time with Katelyn. I would love one day off per week to go do stuff - go to the zoo, museum, park, on playdates and anywhere else we feel like going.

I knew it was time to move on when I found myself thinking that I resented my job because it took me away from my child. And I love being a pediatrician. I love my patients. I hate being on call every other week and some of the parents are a giant pain. Some of them take advantage of our call system to avoid coming in during the week so they can be seen on the weekend or expect you to call in antibiotics over the phone w/o having to come in for an appointment. I don't think a person would have to go to medical school for 4 years and residency for 3 years if being a parent automatically gave you the ability to diagnose every illness or you could know everything about pediatrics because you read it on the internet. On the other hand, I feel like I am not being the best mom because I always have other things to do and cannot spend as much quality time as I would like. I am forever exhausted.

The tough part is going to be breaking it to the boss. She is going to kill me. I feel really bad, but I know that it is the best thing for me and Katelyn to move back to Ohio. It will allow her more time with her father, who at this point has spent about 45 days with her since he moved back to Ohio last April. Moving closer will allow him to see her more w/o the large cost of flying. Yet, I struggle a little because I hate being away from her.

Now that I have written a book, I will end with a promise that I will try to be better at blogging.

Proud Mama

Katelyn really is my love. She looked so sweet in her Easter dress. I loved watching her hunt for her Easter treats. The Easter bunny brought her this sweet duck, which was hidden in an Easter egg with his feet sticking out. He also brought her Disney's Enchanted, a Book called "Little Quack's New Friend," her first set of markers (pip squeaks), and two beanie babies 2.0 (which are TY's version of Webkins). She got a little candy, but not too much. Unfortunately we went to a friends house and I left her there when I drove her dad back to the airport for him to drive home. When I got back, I found out she had been fed a ton of candy AND chips AND Cheetos and God knows what else. When I awoke in the morning, I opened the door and smelled ... vomit. Oh yes, she had thrown up all over her bed... and slept in it. Poor baby! I felt so bad.

I just love this sweet face!

I am so proud of her today because ...SHE WENT PEE PEE ON THE POTTY!!! A total of NINE times today. She has sat on it a ton, but never done anything except wipe her bottom. But today, she did it. The baby sitter had "naked booty camp" in her kitchen. Hilarious to pick up your child and see three naked hynies walking around. Anyways, I am so proud.

What makes you proud?