New Years 2009

Wow... it is a new year: 2009. That means I graduated college almost 10 years ago. I can hardly believe it. I don't feel like I am getting that much older... okay, maybe I feel like I am getting older.

The past year was a rough one. I started off the new year as a single mom with no family in the town in which I was living. I did have in-laws a few hours away, but none that could really help out much with Katelyn due to their own work and families. I did enjoy seeing them in Orlando on a regular basis, but I was missing my mom. I was also working at a job in which I was not happy. I became a little happier when I moved to a new office and was not in the middle of drama on a regular basis. But, I was away from Katelyn more than I wanted to be and on call A LOT more than I would have wanted. Then, when April came I realized that in 366 days, Katelyn had seen her daddy on only 38 of them... and some of those days were for a few hours. So, I made some big decisions. I applied for an Ohio license and started a job search. I finally settled on a job in a town in the middle of my home town and the city where my ex-husband lives. I started the job a few months ago and it has been a rocky start. Unfortunately, I do not see it getting any better. So, after a few short months I am likely to cut my losses again and move on. No sense in staying if I am going to be miserable and feel a part of something that I am truly against. It is a business... which is not at all what I want to be a part of. I want to be a doctor. Yes, I want to make a living. But, I do not need to be rich. I will be perfectly happy having a middle class life. If I wanted more money, I would not be a pediatrician. I will wait for the right time or see if they let me go. I know they are waiting for me to quit. But, I will find my way.

The best thing that happened to me this year was that I fell in love. It is crazy and not rational or smart, but I can't help it. I know that this year for him will be one crazy ride since his divorce is not final and there are a lot of things to work out before it can be. If I were smart, I would never have gotten involved. But, who ever said that I was smart :) Now, in case you are reading this post w/o having read the previous, he was separated when we met and so I did not get involved with a married man (or not exactly). Maybe we will ring in 2010 with nothing but happiness and peace and the stress will be behind us. I will find the right job for me and he will be free to move on completely and without reservation. Until then, I will sit back, hold on and try my best to enjoy the ride.

Happy New Year to you, and may 2009 bring you love, happiness, health and good fortune! God Bless!!