Catching up...

WARNING>>> WHINING AHEAD... do not proceed if you are not in the mood and/or have already heard my tirade. I really am trying to be more positive, but I have a few things to get off of my chest. I did not shop on "Black Friday" ... I didn't sleep in, either... I worked. And, it felt like a black Friday. I am starting to really wonder if I didn't (again) take a job that was presented as one thing and turning into quite another. Seriously... why can't people just be honest. I got into it with the office manager yesterday b/c she told me that I "looked exhausted" (which, while I did a little earlier in the week, I did not feel since I slept a ton on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights) and questioned my ability to do my job. Then she said that the other doctor's had been concerned AND that I was being unprofessional by staying up too late. Come on... seriously now... just over a year ago I was working 80 hour weeks with calls that were 30 hours straight and often with very little to no sleep. That was "part of the job" as a resident. Now, if I get only 6-7 hours of sleep (occasionally) instead of 8-9 I am unprofessional? Then she said that the real boss said that I came to work "looking like I just got out of bed" -- talk about insulting. I get up an hour before I get to work. I shower at night, so in the morning I get dressed, brush teeth and hair and spend some time with my daughter. I make coffee and take breakfast to go (can't eat first thing in the morning). Sometimes I wear makeup... sometimes I don't. I am a relatively fair skinned person and since childhood I have circles under my eyes... especially in the winter. So, I suspect her comment was related to the fact that I was not wearing make-up yesterday. I didn't realize that it was "unprofessional." And quite frankly... I am pissed off. A few days before that I was snapped at for parking in her parking spot. I didn't realize that there was assigned parking... as there is NO SIGN in front of the spots. And, I always leave the first spot for the owner of the practice... the "boss." Unfortunately, as the office manager is the bosses wife, she thinks that she is the boss. I have never heard of such a thing... and it is a problem. There is a definite conflict of interest. I really have no interest in being part of a group that cares more about the money and appearances than about the patients and giving them the time they deserve. They squeeze in a ton of patients into small slots of time and then wonder why patients complain about waiting so long to see the doctor... DUH, I can tell you... b/c I can't possibly see 8 patients in ONE hour! I just want to do my job... take care of patients, educate them and treat them appropriately. But, I need a little time to do so effectively and appropriately. I know for a fact from my previous employer that seeing approximately 5-6 patients per day pays my salary... the overhead is generally paid by an additional 5-10 patients per day and the majority of rest is profit. It is so frustrating that all anyone cares about anymore is money.

Whatever... I will do what I have to do to take care of Katelyn. I will keep looking for the perfect fit and eventually I will find it. In the meantime, I will try to suck it up... deep breaths. Ignore, Ignore, Ignore! That is the plan.


However, I am still thankful for many things:
- a very understanding boyfriend who listened to me complain for over an hour yesterday
- Panda Express
-McDonald's Coke (it is so addicting)
- good movies
- old friends
- the fact that I have an education and can always find a new job

Good night and thanks for listening!