We made it!

We made it though Katelyn's first day of daycare, and I didn't even cry. Mostly because she only cried for about 2 minutes before she realized there were a lot of fun toys and new friends to play with. She had a blast and her teachers already love her... they say she is so cute and sweet and smart. She helped them clean the whole classroom and was a "doll." I can't say I disagree :) I just hope they still think she is so great after "miss TT" (temper tantrum) comes out. Thankfully it isn't too often... yet.

But, after only one week of working, I miss my baby already. I hope that someday I really will find that balance of work and quality time with my baby. But for now, I gotta put my time in.

A Real Doctor

OK, so I have only been working for three days, but I am starting to feel like a "real" doctor. I have a license, a DEA number (so I can write prescriptions), and I am working on getting approved by all of our practices insurance companies and getting hospital privileges so I can see newborns at the hospital. And, I feel torn between my responsibilities to my patients and my daughter. I have stayed later than planned every day. Luckily this week my friend watched Katelyn. However, next week she starts daycare and I am really nervous about being late to pick her up. I can't afford to pay $1 per minute if I am late. And it seems ridiculous that I would be late (past 6:30), but it is getting to be fall and soon winter and that means colds, flu, gastroenteritis, RSV... and on and on. It is seriously giving me palpitations thinking about it. I am already missing spending time with her. I went from all day every day to about 15-30 minutes in the morning and an hour at night. At least I got off early today (and will every Wednesday) and I can spend most of the weekend with her even if I am on call.

Katelyn has continued to learn many new words each day. Today she went with her friend Reagan and her mom to the zoo. This morning monkeys were "EEE EEE's" and this afternoon they were "monkeys," lions were "rahhhr" and now the are "li-ons." It is actually a little sad :( It is cute that she has started calling herself "Katin." I am still waiting for "I love you," but she does say "too" or "you too" when you tell her I love you. Probably because she has heard us on the phone say so many times "I love you, too."

Well, tomorrow I have a lot of errands to run. I have some birthday presents to buy for 2 babies I know are turning one. I have a bunch of paperwork to fill out for work. I have to look at the papers for the child support revision (since Katelyn is starting daycare and I am now making more money than my ex). I had better get to bed.

Tommorow is the day

I start working tomorrow, so this weekend I just enjoyed the time with my daughter. She really is so funny. She is becoming more and more verbal each day. She learned another color (pink) and today she pointed out the letter "L" on our for sale sign in the front yard. I swear that I have not been a hypocrite. I am a mom who believes in playing for fun and I think that it is sad that so many parents make their children learn to count to 1 million, add, subtract, multiply, read and speak 3 languages before they go to preschool. OK, I am exaggerating a little, but I believe in reading to your children from birth (or before) and playing with them -- getting down and dirty. That is how they learn best. So Katelyn became interested in colors when we started playing with play-doh. She decided that her favorite one was the red one, but couldn't tell me at first, so I would say "do you want the blue one?" and she would say "no;" and then "do you want the purple one?" and she said "no;" finally I said "do you want the red one?" and she said "yes." So then we started pointing out all of the colors in everything. And we read tons of books every day, and sometimes it includes the pat the bunny alphabet book, so it is no surprise that she has started to recognize some of the letters. There are a few words that we really need to work on, though, b/c they sound like the "F" word (frog, fog, truck).

It has been so much fun playing with Katelyn over the last 8 weeks. She has changed so much. Her favorite things are baby dolls, doggies (which she finally started saying instead of "fff fff"), Pooh and Tigger, Mickey and Minnie Mouse and "choo choo frains." She first played with the Thomas train set at the bookstore, then she saw the trains at the Yankee Candle Factory Store in Williamsburg. They run on tracks up high through some of the different rooms. She LOVED them. She kept looking for one and saying "hi choo choo frain" and "bye bye choo choo frain." She was laughing and smiling. And one of the rooms is made to look like a winter scene in a town square complete with snow (every 5 minutes). Katelyn thought it was fabulous... she even got to meet Santa Clause who was there working on his Christmas list of good and bad boys and girls from the area. It was so wonderful to see things again for the first time through her eyes. I can't wait to decorate for Christmas. It is going to be so much fun with her, even if we spend it just the two of us.

Tomorrow ends my time as a SAHM. I have enjoyed it, but I definitely have a new appreciation for those women who do it every day. At work, you get a few moments to yourself when you go to the restroom or to lunch. But when you are a SAHM it is 24/7. I think that the best choice for me ultimately would be to work just part-time (2 1/2 - 3 days/week) and spend the other days with my daughter (and hopefully someday be joined by some other babies). I am excited to take care of my "babies" again, but I will miss my baby every day... especially for the next few months when the hours will be longer. I need prayers that I will get my DEA number, hospital privileges and be approved by the insurance companies ASAP so that I can begin working on my own in one office.

Real World, Here I Come

First, a brief explanation for my absence... Well, couldn't get onto my wireless network, computer got a virus, paid a lot of money to get files backed up and then my hard drive wiped out and reconfigured. I bought a desktop computer and it came a few days ago. Still couldn't get on the wireless network. So, I bought a new router and now we are up and running.

This is officially my last completely free weekend. I start my new job on Monday. Yes, I finally got my license. I am still waiting on my DEA number and have to get approval from all of the insurances to be a provider. Until then I will have to be wherever the boss is and if she doesn't work, I don't work. And there will be ALOT of driving (40 miles to the beach, 20 miles to the second office, 20 miles back to the beach and 40 miles home EVERY DAY). But, on the bright side I will no longer be broke. And, God willing, this house will sell soon and cut out about 40 miles of that driving. And as soon as I get approved by the insurance providers (I hope that I don't have any issues with that) I will be primarily in one office and hope to live right down the street. I am excited to start working, but a little nervous. In my spare time (ha) I will be studying for the Pediatric Boards, which I will have to take next October.

Last weekend Katelyn and I went to Williamsburg (VA) to visit my sister and her family. It was wonderful, except for Katelyn tripping over a hula hoop at Shawn's dance studio and getting a fat lip (poor baby is a klutz just like her momma). Perfect fall weather (in the evenings, at least) with some leaves changing. We almost met Rachel, Brian, Lily, Jess T, Syndey and Marc as they were at Pumkinville at the same time we were... Unfortunately, I got a glimpse of them right as they were walking to their car and we were on the hayride. I guess it just wasn't meant to be (at least not yet). We also went to Newtown where Katelyn had a "cheeze bugga" and got to play in the fountain. We went to the outlet mall and got Katelyn two pairs of shoes... a pair of patent leather dress shoes and a pair of sparkly tennis shoes (I think that Hannah would approve) from the Stride Rite outlet. I find myself wishing often that I lived there. I just don't have the nerve to move to another new city just yet. Maybe in a few years when I am not a brand new doc. I was sad to come home, but it was good to be in my own bed and have Katelyn in her crib instead of backing me into a corner while she takes over the rest of the bed. Although I do love snuggling with her. My only regret was that I forgot my camera. My sister took some pics, though, so I hope to have a few to add when she can email them to me.

Well, I best be getting to bed. Gotta rest up for Monday.

Praying that things are finally coming together

OK, so I almost have my license... check.
I have a job... check.
I have a daycare arranged for Katelyn... check, check

But, I still need an exact start date for work -- b/c I am broke (and I am not even exaggerating; I have about $10 in my checking account, a $20 in my wallet and maybe $70 in my savings so about $100 to last for the next month).

And, I really need this house to sell (which would also help the financial situation). I so want to be in my new place for the holidays. Christmas is going to be a little sad this year with just Katelyn and myself. It seems that my future employer decided to take the week off... despite the fact that I told said employer prior to signing the contract that I had my daughter this year and needed the holidays off every other year due to the divorce agreement. At least I could be in my new place with furniture in every room. And sleeping in my new bed, which I have purchased, but have not had delivered yet b/c I don't want to set it up only to move it.

I know there are a lot worse things... but my family is really important to me, and I was hoping to see them for the holidays since I didn't get to see them last year.

I am enjoying the time with Katelyn. She is such a precious girl. She is cuddly and sweet, so smart and funny. She brings me so much joy. She has been talking more and more. She is even trying to learn her numbers and colors. She says "red" (and it often means red), she also said "purple" once (appropriately), but not consistent yet. She points out a few letters and says some numbers in order. Yesterday we were at dinner b/c of the rain ("oh no, rain... uh oh" as Katelyn says whenever it rains) and she kept saying "food... eat... food" until the waitress brought her meal out ahead of mine; it was pretty funny. Then we had to run to the car in the rain and despite an umbrella I got soaked. So Katelyn kept saying "mama... wet." She didn't mind the rain too much though b/c it bought her some time playing at the bookstore with the choo choo trains (the Thomas set) while we waited to see if the rain would die down (it never did). My Christmas list just keeps getting longer.

And, I am starting to learn how to live in the moment a little more and not worry so much. Even though I have worried some, I am surprisingly relaxed about everything. I have faith that things will come together. But it will be in God's time... not mine. But prayers are appreciated.

Now I had better get to bed. Goodnight and sweet dreams. May your worries be lessened overnight.