Illness and Ho Ho Ho

Finally, I am starting to feel better. I have been sick for over two weeks. I initially caught something from Katelyn while she was sick. I had a runny nose and cough, no big deal. Then, on Friday I started to feel worse. I developed a fever, chills, sore throat, swollen tonsils... I had not felt this bad in years. But today I think I may be turning the corner.

Unfortunately, Katelyn may be getting worse. She had finally stopped coughing, the nose was not running, her ear was not draining pus (oh yeah, that ear infection was BAD). But the day after she stopped her 17th day of antibiotics, she started coughing again. And this morning, just as I was pulling into the daycare, she coughed and THREW UP all over herself in the carseat. Poor baby. I had to carry her shirtless into the daycare b/c her extra clothes were in her cubby. She seems okay, off and on, but she coughs a lot when she lays down. I just hope her ears don't get infected again. I hate it when my baby is hurting. It breaks my heart.

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On a happier note, Katelyn seems to be getting really into Christmas this year. She loves driving around looking at Christmas lights... "Another one, lights!" And I taught her how to say "Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!" although it comes out "Ho Ho, Christmas!" I have not taken her to see Santa, yet, but she has seen Santa decorations and we have been talking about how Santa is going to come and bring her some toys. We also talk about Jesus and his birthday. But yesterday when I quizzed her and said "Who is going to bring you presents on Christmas?" she answered "Snowman!" -- This couldn't possibly be because I have a ton of Snowman decorations and not near as many of Santa.

Here she is "Just looking, mama!"

I just hope we both feel better for the weekend, because we are going to Disney World with her Titi's to see Minnie and Mickey and all the pretty Christmas decorations -- maybe even see Santa.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

I finally was able to decorate the house for Christmas. Ok, just the inside -- I just can't do the outside this year. But I did buy a little tree (just a 4 1/2 ft pre-lit baby tree) which will be perfect for Katelyn next year to use as her own personal tree. When they go on sale I will buy a big one. I love real trees, but they make such as mess and I am so paranoid about starting a fire that I can't enjoy it as much as I would like. I set up my houses, decorated the mantle and put out the kitchen and guest bath decorations as well. I even bought myself a new Christmas CD (Josh Groban).

Katelyn is hilarous with the tree. I put it up while she was sleeping, so all day she has been obsessed with it. If only she would not touch it. It is funny, though, because she sits down really close to the houses and the tree and says, "just looking, mommy!" all the while her little hands are touching the Pooh, Percy or Thomas on the tree, the Church Steeple or various other ornaments or decorations. Once I even overheard her say, "just looking, fingers." How cute is that?

All I have left is to get a new wreath to hang above the fireplace. The picture that hangs there is just not doing it. I did find a 40% off coupon to use at Jo Ann's, but I have to get over there by Wednesday... we will say if I can manage that.

I am almost finished with my Christmas shopping. I know what I want to get for the rest of the people on my list, but I have to find the time to get out to get (or get online to order) them.

I meant to post earlier in the week... I even tried for a few days, but I was unsuccessful at logging onto Blogger. It was strange. Hopefully tomorrow I can log on and get a few pics of my decor and my cute baby girl.

Have a Great Monday!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving

Hope all of you are having a very lovely Thanksgiving holiday. I am missing my baby girl, especially since her daddy called me to let me know he was taking her to Urgent Care b/c she was cranky and I have been telling him all week it sounded like she had an ear infection (fever off and on, cranky, not sleeping as well). And, of course, I was right. So now she is on some antibiotics and I hope that she is on the mend by the time I get her back on Saturday. And I hope that her plane ride is okay. I can't believe that this is the second time in 2 months she has had an ear infection -- both since weaning her from breastfeeding. Could be coincidence, but I am not so sure. And, it isn't just daycare, b/c the first time she wasn't even in daycare yet.

Edmond did put up some pics for me to see from the day which I love. He did a good job picking a cute dress for her to wear.

I definitely know what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving: my baby girl, my mom, my sister, my brother, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, nieces and nephews, good friends, a roof over my head (even if it is not the roof I hope to have since the house just will not sell), clothes on my back, food in my belly and the ability to Christmas shop like I have been this past week.

Have a blessed day and a good "Black Friday." Happy Shopping :)

It has been awhile

I can't believe that it has been almost three weeks since I last wrote... such a slacker. I have been trying to enjoy my daughter in the short amount of time we have together these days. But this week she is with daddy, so I am left on my own.

I am finally getting in the groove at work. I am enjoying it more as well, although I still miss Katelyn while I am at work. I really cannot stress enough how much I need prayers for this house to sell. I spend THREE HOURS in the car EVERY day going back and forth to work. It is torture. And if I lived closer to work it would give me an extra 1 1/2 to 2 hours a day with Katelyn playing instead of riding in the car. And I know that she misses me, because her teachers say that she talks about me all day "mommy doctor, go work." It has made me appreciate my time with her even more. And, I find my most meaningful moments are spent with Katelyn going through our bedtime routine -- splashing in the bath, getting on pj's, reading stories and snuggling. It is funny b/c she has started saying "no night night yet" when it is getting close to bedtime, and she says "go snuggle, mommy's bed" when she is getting sleepy. I can't believe that a few months ago she had a vocabulary of about 25 words max. Now she uses 3 - 5 words in a sentence.

She was very excited to go bye-bye on the airplane. She kept saying "mommy go bye-bye" and "Katelyn go bye-bye" and I had to tell her that mommy was staying home b/c I had to work and she was going to go with daddy on the airplane. When I got her all packed she was wanted to pull her own suitcase (as you can see below). She was a little disturbed when the lady at the airport put her suitcase on the conveyor belt at check-in. She kept saying "Katelyn's case." We had to explain that she would get it back at daddy's house. I hated leaving her. Edmond said that when they were walking to security and I walked the opposite direction (she was looking back at me which about broke my heart) she kept saying "Mommy go work." But I know that they both need this week to figure things out and build their relationship. And I am glad that he wants to spend time with her. Apparently today he went shopping and bought her a dress that was more "fall-ish" for Thanksgiving (I had sent a dress that was black and red and he wanted to save it for New Years) as well as some tights, shoes and something for her hair. I hope that he takes a lot of pictures so I can see her all dressed up. I am going to miss her like crazy. Although every day is Thanksgiving for me, b/c I thank God every day for sending Katelyn to me.

Here she is getting ready for her trip to Cincinnati:

And then she decided she wanted to ride it... she kept saying "horse... neigh."

She is just the cutest little munchkin in the whole world (if I do say so myself).

First Trick-or-Treat

Katelyn's first Halloween was a success, despite the fact that she did not have a nap at

daycare :( She looked so cute as a little ladybug. We went over to Dr. O'Reilly's house and ate dinner before heading out around 7. We just went down the street and back, but it was plenty. Katelyn started to say "home, bye-bye" and I knew she was worn out. She didn't quite get it all and I never could get her to say "trick" or "treat" (I knew she would never put it all together). She was very sweet, though, and she signed "thank you" each time. She also signed "please" a few times. She was very pleased that a few of the houses remembered the little ones and had "minems" as she calls M&M's. Her only disappointment was when many of the people were already outside so she couldn't "ding-dong" (press the door bell), which was the highlight of her evening. Her most favorite house had two white rocking chairs like the ones at Cracker Barrel and she kept saying "mommy seat" and "Kaylin seat" and trying to climb in it. It was so sweet.

We gave my Boss's daughter all of the candy that was not toddler friendly, except the Peanut Butter Cups... those are for mommy. One guy even asked Katelyn what mommy would like, and through one in her bag, so I didn't feel bad about keeping them. Just before 8 I put my exhausted baby into her car seat. She took two sips of milk and put her binky in -- about 5 minutes later (or less), she was out. She slept all the way home and I just changed her diaper and put her in a tee shirt (yes it is still hot here) and layed her in her bed.

Today was back to the grind. And while I was giving Katelyn a bath I noticed a mark on her arm that looked an awful lot like... teeth marks. Yes, she has been in daycare 4 days and already some other little munchkin has bitten my baby. Grrrr!!! As I pediatrician I know that there are and will always be some kids who are biters. And it has nothing to do with the home they come from or how they are raised. And it is the one thing that I was nervous about happening to my baby at daycare. It may have been a little better had I been told about the happenings by the daycare teacher. I was told that they would have to fill out an incident report if something like that happened... and no one even told me. First, I cried (okay so I am a little sensitive). Then I called my mom (I needed some perspective). She pointed out that they may not have noticed and just to let them know tomorrow so they can be on the lookout for who the biter may be. I have a small suspicion b/c there is one little boy who is always pulling hair and pinching the other kids. He tried to pinch Katelyn when we had just walked in the door on her FIRST day. I hope that it doesn't become a regular occurrence, or I am going to have to rethink daycare.

We made it!

We made it though Katelyn's first day of daycare, and I didn't even cry. Mostly because she only cried for about 2 minutes before she realized there were a lot of fun toys and new friends to play with. She had a blast and her teachers already love her... they say she is so cute and sweet and smart. She helped them clean the whole classroom and was a "doll." I can't say I disagree :) I just hope they still think she is so great after "miss TT" (temper tantrum) comes out. Thankfully it isn't too often... yet.

But, after only one week of working, I miss my baby already. I hope that someday I really will find that balance of work and quality time with my baby. But for now, I gotta put my time in.

A Real Doctor

OK, so I have only been working for three days, but I am starting to feel like a "real" doctor. I have a license, a DEA number (so I can write prescriptions), and I am working on getting approved by all of our practices insurance companies and getting hospital privileges so I can see newborns at the hospital. And, I feel torn between my responsibilities to my patients and my daughter. I have stayed later than planned every day. Luckily this week my friend watched Katelyn. However, next week she starts daycare and I am really nervous about being late to pick her up. I can't afford to pay $1 per minute if I am late. And it seems ridiculous that I would be late (past 6:30), but it is getting to be fall and soon winter and that means colds, flu, gastroenteritis, RSV... and on and on. It is seriously giving me palpitations thinking about it. I am already missing spending time with her. I went from all day every day to about 15-30 minutes in the morning and an hour at night. At least I got off early today (and will every Wednesday) and I can spend most of the weekend with her even if I am on call.

Katelyn has continued to learn many new words each day. Today she went with her friend Reagan and her mom to the zoo. This morning monkeys were "EEE EEE's" and this afternoon they were "monkeys," lions were "rahhhr" and now the are "li-ons." It is actually a little sad :( It is cute that she has started calling herself "Katin." I am still waiting for "I love you," but she does say "too" or "you too" when you tell her I love you. Probably because she has heard us on the phone say so many times "I love you, too."

Well, tomorrow I have a lot of errands to run. I have some birthday presents to buy for 2 babies I know are turning one. I have a bunch of paperwork to fill out for work. I have to look at the papers for the child support revision (since Katelyn is starting daycare and I am now making more money than my ex). I had better get to bed.

Tommorow is the day

I start working tomorrow, so this weekend I just enjoyed the time with my daughter. She really is so funny. She is becoming more and more verbal each day. She learned another color (pink) and today she pointed out the letter "L" on our for sale sign in the front yard. I swear that I have not been a hypocrite. I am a mom who believes in playing for fun and I think that it is sad that so many parents make their children learn to count to 1 million, add, subtract, multiply, read and speak 3 languages before they go to preschool. OK, I am exaggerating a little, but I believe in reading to your children from birth (or before) and playing with them -- getting down and dirty. That is how they learn best. So Katelyn became interested in colors when we started playing with play-doh. She decided that her favorite one was the red one, but couldn't tell me at first, so I would say "do you want the blue one?" and she would say "no;" and then "do you want the purple one?" and she said "no;" finally I said "do you want the red one?" and she said "yes." So then we started pointing out all of the colors in everything. And we read tons of books every day, and sometimes it includes the pat the bunny alphabet book, so it is no surprise that she has started to recognize some of the letters. There are a few words that we really need to work on, though, b/c they sound like the "F" word (frog, fog, truck).

It has been so much fun playing with Katelyn over the last 8 weeks. She has changed so much. Her favorite things are baby dolls, doggies (which she finally started saying instead of "fff fff"), Pooh and Tigger, Mickey and Minnie Mouse and "choo choo frains." She first played with the Thomas train set at the bookstore, then she saw the trains at the Yankee Candle Factory Store in Williamsburg. They run on tracks up high through some of the different rooms. She LOVED them. She kept looking for one and saying "hi choo choo frain" and "bye bye choo choo frain." She was laughing and smiling. And one of the rooms is made to look like a winter scene in a town square complete with snow (every 5 minutes). Katelyn thought it was fabulous... she even got to meet Santa Clause who was there working on his Christmas list of good and bad boys and girls from the area. It was so wonderful to see things again for the first time through her eyes. I can't wait to decorate for Christmas. It is going to be so much fun with her, even if we spend it just the two of us.

Tomorrow ends my time as a SAHM. I have enjoyed it, but I definitely have a new appreciation for those women who do it every day. At work, you get a few moments to yourself when you go to the restroom or to lunch. But when you are a SAHM it is 24/7. I think that the best choice for me ultimately would be to work just part-time (2 1/2 - 3 days/week) and spend the other days with my daughter (and hopefully someday be joined by some other babies). I am excited to take care of my "babies" again, but I will miss my baby every day... especially for the next few months when the hours will be longer. I need prayers that I will get my DEA number, hospital privileges and be approved by the insurance companies ASAP so that I can begin working on my own in one office.

Real World, Here I Come

First, a brief explanation for my absence... Well, couldn't get onto my wireless network, computer got a virus, paid a lot of money to get files backed up and then my hard drive wiped out and reconfigured. I bought a desktop computer and it came a few days ago. Still couldn't get on the wireless network. So, I bought a new router and now we are up and running.

This is officially my last completely free weekend. I start my new job on Monday. Yes, I finally got my license. I am still waiting on my DEA number and have to get approval from all of the insurances to be a provider. Until then I will have to be wherever the boss is and if she doesn't work, I don't work. And there will be ALOT of driving (40 miles to the beach, 20 miles to the second office, 20 miles back to the beach and 40 miles home EVERY DAY). But, on the bright side I will no longer be broke. And, God willing, this house will sell soon and cut out about 40 miles of that driving. And as soon as I get approved by the insurance providers (I hope that I don't have any issues with that) I will be primarily in one office and hope to live right down the street. I am excited to start working, but a little nervous. In my spare time (ha) I will be studying for the Pediatric Boards, which I will have to take next October.

Last weekend Katelyn and I went to Williamsburg (VA) to visit my sister and her family. It was wonderful, except for Katelyn tripping over a hula hoop at Shawn's dance studio and getting a fat lip (poor baby is a klutz just like her momma). Perfect fall weather (in the evenings, at least) with some leaves changing. We almost met Rachel, Brian, Lily, Jess T, Syndey and Marc as they were at Pumkinville at the same time we were... Unfortunately, I got a glimpse of them right as they were walking to their car and we were on the hayride. I guess it just wasn't meant to be (at least not yet). We also went to Newtown where Katelyn had a "cheeze bugga" and got to play in the fountain. We went to the outlet mall and got Katelyn two pairs of shoes... a pair of patent leather dress shoes and a pair of sparkly tennis shoes (I think that Hannah would approve) from the Stride Rite outlet. I find myself wishing often that I lived there. I just don't have the nerve to move to another new city just yet. Maybe in a few years when I am not a brand new doc. I was sad to come home, but it was good to be in my own bed and have Katelyn in her crib instead of backing me into a corner while she takes over the rest of the bed. Although I do love snuggling with her. My only regret was that I forgot my camera. My sister took some pics, though, so I hope to have a few to add when she can email them to me.

Well, I best be getting to bed. Gotta rest up for Monday.

Praying that things are finally coming together

OK, so I almost have my license... check.
I have a job... check.
I have a daycare arranged for Katelyn... check, check

But, I still need an exact start date for work -- b/c I am broke (and I am not even exaggerating; I have about $10 in my checking account, a $20 in my wallet and maybe $70 in my savings so about $100 to last for the next month).

And, I really need this house to sell (which would also help the financial situation). I so want to be in my new place for the holidays. Christmas is going to be a little sad this year with just Katelyn and myself. It seems that my future employer decided to take the week off... despite the fact that I told said employer prior to signing the contract that I had my daughter this year and needed the holidays off every other year due to the divorce agreement. At least I could be in my new place with furniture in every room. And sleeping in my new bed, which I have purchased, but have not had delivered yet b/c I don't want to set it up only to move it.

I know there are a lot worse things... but my family is really important to me, and I was hoping to see them for the holidays since I didn't get to see them last year.

I am enjoying the time with Katelyn. She is such a precious girl. She is cuddly and sweet, so smart and funny. She brings me so much joy. She has been talking more and more. She is even trying to learn her numbers and colors. She says "red" (and it often means red), she also said "purple" once (appropriately), but not consistent yet. She points out a few letters and says some numbers in order. Yesterday we were at dinner b/c of the rain ("oh no, rain... uh oh" as Katelyn says whenever it rains) and she kept saying "food... eat... food" until the waitress brought her meal out ahead of mine; it was pretty funny. Then we had to run to the car in the rain and despite an umbrella I got soaked. So Katelyn kept saying "mama... wet." She didn't mind the rain too much though b/c it bought her some time playing at the bookstore with the choo choo trains (the Thomas set) while we waited to see if the rain would die down (it never did). My Christmas list just keeps getting longer.

And, I am starting to learn how to live in the moment a little more and not worry so much. Even though I have worried some, I am surprisingly relaxed about everything. I have faith that things will come together. But it will be in God's time... not mine. But prayers are appreciated.

Now I had better get to bed. Goodnight and sweet dreams. May your worries be lessened overnight.

Home Sweet Home

Well, it has been over two weeks since we have been home. First we packed up and went to Nana's house for her big surgery. Her total knee replacement was a success. She is doing so well that she was able to come home today. Unfortunately, Katelyn was sick the ENTIRE time we were gone. She had the cold mentioned in the last post complete with congestion/runny nose, cough, decreased appetite and loose stools. Then just when she seemed to be on the mend, she spiked a fever to 104 and I had to take her to the doctor. Turns out she had an ear infection. And boy was she ever cranky... it was colic revisited. All she wanted to do was be held and cuddle on the couch watching "stories" on the "cc" (tv). So we watched a ton of Barney, Bear in the Big Blue House, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Vegie Tales as well as quite a few Disney movies. And to top it off she fell in the shower and got a huge bruise on her forehead and a little one on her cheek. All the while I was trying to get my mom's house cleaned up and in order for her to come back home... and I had the dog to take care of. She followed me around everywhere I went... I about tripped over her 17 times. And to top things off, Edmond ended up getting Rota Virus... so instead of babysitting for me, he was stuck in bed all weekend. I only got to see my mom for about 30 minutes at a time instead of a few hours a day as I had planned. All in all, it was not the trip I had planned on. Of course I suppose they never are exactly. Such is life.

But on the positive side, my mom is doing great and is back at home with plenty of close friends and my brother/sister in law and nieces to take care of her. Katelyn is started to feel much better, although still clingy and not quite back to herself. And yesterday I finally got some good news about my license, so I should be able to start working by the end of the month. Just in time, since I am about to be broke. Now if only this house would sell.

I am happy to be home. Although it was wonderful to experience some of the autumn I miss so much. I plan on taking Katelyn up to Williamsburg to see my sister -- we are going to take her to the pumpkin patch. We might even make it to Hallo-scream at Busch Gardens (where my brother in law works).

I will leave you with a pic of my little bug's first pigtails (they lasted about 2 hours before her hair fell back into a million curls, but it was sweet while it lasted).

My poor baby

Well, it has been a busy week. I have been enjoying spending time with Katelyn. Unfortunately she started getting a runny nose on Monday when she woke up from her nap. Then on Tuesday she developed a cough. She has been running a low grade fever (101) off and on. She has also been a little fussy. Poor baby. When your child is sick all you want to do is make it better. Thankfully she has not been sick very often. I like to think it was from the breastfeeding -- 18 months worth. She weaned herself a few days after getting back from her first long visit with her daddy.

Today has been a whirlwind with a doctor's appointment, out to lunch, long drive because the baby fell asleep on the way home, drop off a prescription at the pharmacy, finish packing for our 2 week trip to Nana's house only to get a phone call that they wanted to show the house at 7pm (it was 5:52 pm... giving me a little over an hour to get ready), so it was a quick cleaning and then we were off again. We came home and I got the baby ready for bed. The people then came to see the house around 8pm... didn't realize they hadn't come. Oh well. I keep praying that this house will sell soon.

Anyways, sorry for the babble. I will leave you with a funny pic of Katelyn being "cool." She is such a ham.

The Weekend

I had the B-E-S-T day with Katelyn on Friday. We got up around 7:45 and started our day with breakfast (including coffee, which Katelyn now insists on sharing with mama). Then, we watched Barney and got ready to go check out some daycare centers. I just loved the first one we went to. It was a Kindercare, and while the building wasn't as impressive as the Tutor Time we visited, I fell in love with the people. It was just so evident that the teachers loved the kids. And that was what I was looking for to feel like it is okay to leave her at daycare because she is being truly cared for. And she loved it... she got right down and started playing with the kids and the toys. She didn't seem to care that she was the only girl in a room full of little boys. And I am not worried, as I know one shrill scream and they will back off :) The second daycare was one of those impressive on paper, but definitely had more of a school feeling -- and at the age of 1 1/2 I really don't feel like my child needs a curriculum. I will put her in preschool when she is 3, but not before. After checking out the daycare centers, we headed to the Loop for pizza and "minade" (lemonade) for Katelyn, a coke for me.

We were headed home when I looked in the rear view mirror to find my baby sound asleep. Well, she does NOT transfer well, so I decided we had better keep driving in order to have a nap. And where better to drive than the beach. She slept for a little over an hour. Then we did a little shopping at Target, since I was wearing jeans and it was 86 degrees outside. Next we headed for "One Hot Cookie" -- it is the coolest place where you pick out your dough (brownie, sugar or chocolate chip) and as many toppings as you want and they bake it and give it to you right out of the oven. And you can have it plane or topped with ice cream (which apparently you can also have toppings mixed in). I choose to enjoy the cookie by itself, and my personal favorite is brownie dough with m&m's and thin mints... it is to die for. Katelyn was in heaven as she is my little cookie monster -- she even has a tee shirt that says "I did it all for the cookie."

Finally, we headed for the beach with our towels, bucket, shovels and the diaper bag. At first she did not like walking on the sand. But once I got her to the more flat sand, she was fine. She saw a seagull and started running after it saying "buh." Next I took her to put her feet in the ocean. She enjoyed feeling the wet sand between her toes, and when the water came up over her feet she got really excited. But, I guess I should have thought ahead because the next thing you know she had plopped herself right down on her tushy... in her clothes. Oops. So, I figured, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em... and I plopped right down in back of her. Then we waded further in, and she tried to just keep walking in over her head. Every time the waves crashed into her, she thought it was hilarious. I admit that I was a little nervous, so I held onto her with both hands the entire time we were in the water. Next we went back to our towel, I stripped her down to her diaper and let her play in the sand with her bucket and shovels. She had fun filling it up and dumping it out. I had to keep moving our stuff because the tide was coming in. At about the fourth move, I decided it was time to head out. And, since we were at the beach, we went to visit Dr. O'Reilly. Of course Katelyn was wearing only a diaper, since her clothes were wet and sandy. But she didn't seem to care. She made herself at home in the waiting room, playing with all of the toys. We waited for Dr. O and she invited us back to her house for dinner.

On the way to Dr. O'Reilly's house Katelyn said "Josh" ("shosh") and "Tori" for the first time. She was excited to see them and the kitties. She loves going to their house to play. She makes herself right at home since she knows where all the good things are. We put Katelyn in one of Josh's Spiderman t-shirts. She looked so cute. It had stripes on the sleeves and with her hair still up in a pom-pom, she looked like a little cheerleader wearing a jersey. On the way home she conked out, and she barely woke up as I changed her diaper and put her into bed. It really was the perfect day. I only wish I had gotten some good pictures from the day.

Here is an example of the "pompom" hairdo

Saturday was not too exciting. We ran a few errands and did stop at the mall to play at the indoor playground. It was raining outside and Katelyn kept saying "rain... uh oh... oh dear" -- it was so sweet. We had lunch at the mall and went home for a nap. When she woke up we watched her Barney zoo movie. Then I made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner; meatballs are the one thing containing meat that Katelyn will always eat. And today was another day of "adventures in babysitting." Katelyn was a little better, but still acts like a little bit of a brute. Hopefully she will learn to share at daycare. The day was fairly easy, though, because Luca slept for 3 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon, since he still wasn't feeling the greatest, and Katelyn slept for 2 hours; 30 minutes were overlapping, so I got a little time to myself even.

I am feeling old

OK, so I know I am not really old, but I sure am tired. I can't believe that I used to babysit all the time for anywhere from 1 to 6 children and be no worse for the wear. In fact, I spend 4 days a week babysitting for a family with twins and another baby 14 months older as well as 5 year old for an entire summer -- actually watched them for 2 summers beginning when the twins were newborns. And, while not always easy, most days I felt energized.

Well, today I babysat for a friend's baby who is 10 months old. And my 19 month old little girl was not really happy to share her mommy (or her toys). It was funny really to watch the two of them fight over her baby strollers. In his defense, Luca, or "bebe la la" as Katelyn calls him, really just wanted something to push so he could walk, and I later caught him head butting one of her dolls. Katelyn did give him quite a few hugs and loving pats as well, and she kept pulling out is binky and giving him a sip of water from his cup and then sticking the binky back in his mouth (it was hilarious and sweet). But I digress.

I realized today how difficult it must be to be a stay at home mom with two kids less than a year apart. The little one still takes 2 naps and mine is down to one nap. His, around 9:30 ish for about an hour and mine around noonish for 1.5-2 hours, then his again around 3ish for 1.5 hours. So, one of them is sleeping most of the day, but not together, so no rest for the weary. You can't even leave the house b/c someone needs to nap. And, I only have one high chair, so I had to feed them in shifts. Since Katelyn thinks she needs to eat whenever she sees food she whined through each of his meals. In my free time, I picked up the toys that had exploded all over the family room.

After Luca's mommy picked him up, Katelyn had one temper tantrum after another for the next hour or so. I finally got her to the park (a feat that took about 15-20 minutes since she insisted on bringing her stroller and most of her babies) to allow her to run off some energy. After 20 minutes or so at the park her little cheeks were red and her hair was saturated; I got her to cooperate and get in the stroller for the ride home. And then I was a lazy mommy... I took her to McDonald's (I know, it is horrible, and I swore my child would NEVER have fast food) for a cheeseburger, apples and milk (had to be a little healthy). We came home, had a bath with MiMi (one of her favorite bath books from Baby Einstein) and her new Corolle Tidoo baby doll. She was so sweet with her baby... she didn't want to leave her in the tub to dry, so I had to find a towel for her (I used a hand towel). She held that baby and kept kissing her. She made sure that the baby could hear the bedtime stories as well. And then I convinced her that her other baby needed to be the one to go to bed with her (so I could hang Tidoo up to dry :) I snuggled in the rocker listening to lullabies and then put Katelyn in her bed. She gave me a sweet smile as I told her goodnight. I just love our bedtime routine!

I watched one of my shows on the DVR that I missed earlier in the week and now I am watching a Grey's Anatomy rerun as I type this. And I am exhausted... so I think I will go to bed super early. See, I am getting old. And tomorrow I get to explore some daycare centers.

My simple pleasures...

So, my goal was to post daily... guess I sorta failed at that. In my defense, I did write one post after the last one, but I decided that it was too negative. My life goal has been to be more optimistic and focus on the positives, so I saved the draft and then didn't post. It was therapeutic, though.

Any who. I needed a post related to my title. Since I am now single again I have begun dating (though not frequently). While getting to know one of the "eligible bachelors" (I swear dating is like a job interview at this age), we emailed some questions back and forth. One question that really got me thinking was "what are your simple pleasures (kids don't count because they are not simple)?" It took only a moment for me to start listing... but I soon realized that it was all of these simple pleasures that make life worth living. Waking up next to someone you love, a good cup of coffee, a sunrise, the sand between my toes at the beach, walking on the beach holding hands, hearing the waves crash into shore, a first kiss, followed by a second/third/fourth (you get the idea), a good hug, getting whistled at (OK, so it should be insulting, but admit that it makes you feel just a little good), still getting carded for alcohol, chocolate, fresh baked cookies, having someone say "I love you," feeling appreciated, clean laundry smell, making love, laying in bed listening to a rainstorm, cuddling, snuggling up under a blanket with a good book, looking at the stars, laying in a hammock, a good lipstick, sexy lingerie under your work clothes, pasta, a good laugh, talking to my best friend(s) on the phone, going to dinner with a friend, late night talks with my mom, laying in bed with my daughter reading her stories, the way kids mispronounce words, watching kids play, swinging, lounging by the pool, a walk in the woods, feeding the ducks, getting real mail, listening to music, the smell of popcorn, the way you feel after a good work out, freshly shaven legs, getting your hair washed at the salon, a massage, singing out loud, a bubble bath (especially by candle light with music in the background), wrapping up in a towel just out of the dryer in the winter, a clean house... and so many more.

What are your simple pleasures? Think about it, I would love to hear from people.

My two favorite girls -- my daughter and my mom (aka Nana)

My list

So, I have a few things to accomplish while taking time off to enjoy with Katelyn. And today I did two of them. I refinanced my car since the lease is up in October and I decided to buy it. And, I called about getting cobra insurance to cover me while I am waiting for my license to go through. I didn't realized just how fortunate I was to have insurance fully covered for me and my family during residency. For example, my entire pregnancy and delivery cost a grand total of about $150... that was for some labs that were not otherwise necessary. Today, reality set in when I learned that "family coverage" for just myself and my daughter was over $1000/month... it would have been the same if I had a whole bunch of kids. Who can afford that? Hopefully my ex's insurance will cover Katelyn in an emergency and I can get coverage for just me for the month and then I can add her when I start my new job.

Next I have to check out of residency. My official last day is tomorrow. It is weird to be done after so many years. Of course I will never be done with the studying -- things change to frequently in medicine not to stay up to date. And, I have to buy a plane ticket for Katelyn and I to fly to Ohio to stay with my mom during her surgery. She is having a total knee replacement on September 21. Prayers are welcome and appreciated. I am a little anxious about anyone I am close to going through surgery, especially my mom...

And the rest of my list is full of things that I can't wait to do with Katelyn. I am just hoping that the heat wave ends in the near future so that we can enjoy places like the beach and the zoo without fear of heat exhaustion. I want to take her to the hands on museum and Disney World and O2B Kids. Of course I love spending the quiet times with her as well, reading, playing baby dolls, coloring, singing, dancing and snuggling. I, too, have been guilty in the recent past of living my life like there is always tomorrow. Well, in Hannah's memory I am going to try harder to not wait until tomorrow and start living today in the moment. Yeah, as the song says, "start living, that's the next thing on my list." I'm off to curl up with a good book and a glass of wine.

It's time to start loving Sundays

For too long now I have dreaded Sunday. The entire day was ruined for the simple fact that it was the day before Monday... which meant that another week of school, work, you name it. Even when I started working these crazy hours which included weekends and occasionally had days off during the week, I still dreaded Sunday. Strange that this is supposed to be the day of the week where you take the day off to reflect, go to church, spend time with family. My first mistake was getting out of the habit of going to church. Church used to be the place where I felt most at peace. In fact, it was the only place where I felt safe as a child. I didn't miss a Sunday through most of my first 18 years. Then when I went away to college I started going more on occasion. In medical school I made an attempt at going more regularly, but it was short lived. Then I got married, moved to a new state and started residency. I had my daughter and got her baptized. And still I didn't have a church. My husband was an "esperitismo" while I was Lutheran. It was difficult to find a place we could both go. Even after we divorced and my mom went to church every week I didn't go. As cheesy as it sounds I have heard God calling me back. Well, I realize that in order to start loving Sundays, I have to go back to my roots. That means I need to find a church for me and for Katelyn. A new start... that is what it is all about.

Inspired

I have been inspired to start my own blog. It started with my friend Angi and I have been reading her blog daily for almost 2 years now -- it is great to be able to catch up and watch her kiddos grow despite living so far away. Then I have become an addict of sorts clicking from one blog to another and getting to know some of these people like I met them at the gym or something. And I have been too shy to leave a comment, although I have really wanted to. Most recently I have been following the life of Rach D, Brien and Lily since her beautiful little Hannah's accident -- they live in Williamsburg, which is close to my heart since my sister and her family live there. And little Lily is just a few months older than my little Katelyn. So many nights I have wanted to send my thoughts and prayers, but no words seemed to capture my true feelings. Then, of course, tonight I was inspired by this:


Just look at that face. True creativity at work. So, I decided there is no time like the present. And now I won't feel like a snoop since I am opening my life to be read by others.

Today was my first day as a SAHM. At least for the next month or two while I am waiting for my medical license to be approved. Who knew that it would be this hard, particularly after surviving pre-med, the MCAT, medical school, USMLE step 1, 2 and 3 and residency. At least I have a job once I have the license. And I can't say that I am not a little excited about the prospect of spending so much alone time with my daughter. Particularly since "Nana" (my mom, who has been with us for the bigger part of the last 15 months as our nanny) is moving back to Michigan. I am also a little nervous. I hope I am able to balance motherhood, work and a small personal life (finding new friends and maybe even dating). For the years I was married the thing that I sacrificed was myself, and in the end I lost everything. I know now that a happy momma makes a happy baby and I try not to feel guilty about taking time for me. But that was when I could leave her with her Nana. Now I have to find a baby-sitter. It sounds easy enough. But someone with whom I can entrust the love of my life... now that is the challenge.

I hope that I don't bore anyone with my idol chatter. While I enjoy writing, I do not pretend to be a writer. And my creativity has been dampened by all those years of having to come up with the "correct answer." So, bear with me as I rediscover my creative side and am slowly reintroduced to my former self.